Open letter to Drivers

Ok so I have already written an open letter to cyclists but after the recent poor weather in the UK (no real surprise) I'm going to have a moan about some drivers now

My mum used to tell me that there are a lot of idiots out on the roads, and she didn't want me to become another one. Well mum, I'm sorry to say that I am not the safest driver out there, but given the number of idiots I've seen recently, I have to say, I'm actually not that bad!

So anyway, here is me moaning (remember, I'm in the UK, we drive on the other side of the road to most people):
To the drivers who sit in the overtaking lane...it's an over taking lane, you are only supposed to be in it if you are overtaking something, if the left hand lane is clear, PULL OVER, especially if you are going slower than the car behind you. Just because there is a long line of cars in front of you all not overtaking something, doesn't mean that you should be doing the same, they should be pulling over too. The only time that I will agree that it is acceptable to be in the middle or right hand lanes when you are not overtaking something is when there is a junction/sliproad ahead and you are moving across in case there is a car coming down the ramp to join the carriageway.
Drivers pulling out in front of me on the carriageway, that space I left wasn't for you to squeeze into, that was my safety zone, I always try to give more space in front of my car, just in case. You pulling into that space means I have less space in the event of an accident. This is compounded by you pulling out in front of me and carrying on at the same speed that you were going before, pull out and speed up, quit pootling!
It's foggy day, I have my lights on, I can see other cars that have their lights on too, nice! But wait a minute, there's a silver car going the other way with no lights on and the hammer down. Seriously? Its foggy, you can't see anything clearly and you're in a silver car, you may as well be invisible, PUT YOUR LIGHTS ON!
Do you want me to open my boot (trunk for any Americans out there) so you can get a little bit closer? Drivers that ride the back end of my car are likely to get a little bit of a shock as I am prone to tapping the breaks sometimes just to shake them back a little. I know it's not the safest thing for me to do and trust me I'll pull over if I can, but if you are that close to the back end of my car, maybe you need the shock to make you drop back a little.
Doing other things while you are driving is foolish! Chatting on your phone is ok if you are hands free, but if not, don't answer your phone. Don't text, email, play games on your phone either.
Don't smoke while you are driving, that's probably the worst thing in my mind. Imagine you're driving along the open road, taking a drag of your cigarette, nice and relaxed. But then you drop the cigarette, you don't know where it's gone, you start to panic, frantically looking around for it, not paying attention to the road, you feel something burning against your leg, you start to hop around in the car, brushing your hand under your leg and BAM you hit a tree/wall/other car/pedestrian.
Eating/drinking while you're driving, I'm ok with this as long as you've prepared things and you're not having anything hot. By prepared I mean that you have previously (while at a stand still) opened up what you want to have and it's sat next to you, or you have someone in the passenger seat next to you offering you what you are after. Remember though to take your rubbish with you, not chuck it out the window.

So many things I could rant about, but I don't want to have another downer post, I promise the next post will be full of nice things and rainbows

P